One sorceress who obliterates and looks incredible doing it.
One samurai with very bad luck.
His name is Ripperoni. Her character's hair took longer to build than the combat tutorial. They said yes to a blind first playthrough of one of the hardest games ever made because suffering is better with a friend and a flute. That was 53 episodes ago.
Nobody had played Elden Ring before. Nobody had a guide. The swear jar received its inaugural deposit before the first enemy died. This is not a series about getting good at the game. This is a series about getting good at the game together. The distinction matters.
Obliterates. No-hit the Siofra boss. Solos dragons on horseback at full gallop firing a comet spell. Charged a dragon having assessed nothing because there was a dragon. Said "I fucked their dragon" when everyone turned hostile. She was correct.
Navigates. Falls off cliffs he's been standing next to for twenty minutes. Was teleported by a trapped chest — twice — to progressively worse locations. Gets run over by rolling death balls. Carries the purse. Has 206 deaths.
"The gap between them is the comedy. The warmth between them is the point."
Ripperoni dies stuck inside a tent. Not a metaphor. A tent. The series establishes its tone early.
Patches betrays them in a cave. Nobody was surprised, least of all Patches. Patches was not sorry.
A trapped chest swallows Gibs and teleports him to Volcano Manor. Flaut finds the secret library by falling through the ceiling. Neither of them found anything on purpose.
A crab kills Gibs in the Siofra River. The crab was not a boss. The crab was not a challenge. The crab was just a crab.
Flaut no-hits the Siofra boss. Gibs gets touched once by the same boss. He considers this a personal victory.
Gibs's death count leaps ahead of Flaut's somewhere around episode twenty. "I'm so glad I showed up to carry your purse," he says. He is describing himself accurately.
Thops receives both academy keys, presumably graduates, and is found unalive at a desk outside the academy he worked so hard to enter. The desk is outside.
A man in a bush turns out to have been a bush. Before that, a tree. He was the bush.
Gibs is hit by the rolling death ball. Then again. Then a third time while explaining to Flaut how to avoid the rolling death ball. He had notes.
Gibs calls the horse Riptide mid-adrenaline. Flaut adopts it immediately. The horse is now Riptide.
There was a pumpkin-headed knight who clearly wanted to dance. Gibs gave him a moment. Then killed him anyway.
Flaut charges a dragon without assessing it because there is a dragon. The entire area turns hostile. "I fucked their dragon," she says. She is correct.
The Spirit-Caller Snail fight takes ten minutes. The snail was in the corner the whole time. It was watching.
Radahn falls. A star falls. A crater opens in Limgrave. Flaut rides Riptide directly into the crater. Gibs, adjacently, dies. This is who they are.
Two Crucible Knights. A level-three summon alive in the corner the entire fight. He noticed everything.
The series name. You figure it out. 🍑
Large. Round. They find their mark. The name was inevitable.
A running gag. Both words are accurate. Neither requires elaboration.
She obliterates. Gibs cleans up. This is the dynamic. This has always been the dynamic.
The horse. His name is technically Torrent. His name is Riptide.
Flaut announces she has one. Kills two dragons. It is an Iron Bull reference. It is also simply true.
Flaut rides like a princess. Not reverse cowgirl. She is very clear about this. The horse had no comment.
A spell cast mechanic. Allegedly.
It happened.
76 of 165 bosses. Approximately halfway.
Both completely unpeeled.
The Silver Tear in Nokron looked exactly like Flaut.
Nobody has addressed this yet.
🍑